I love watching movies with my parents. I do not know, there is something comforting about lying back on the couch with Mom and Dad, and slipping away into whatever action / adventure we chose for the night. Okay, but that does not mean deciding on a movie, watching it in its entity, and than agreeing on the thumbs up or down verdict is an easy task. In addition, watching Sharon Stone spread her legs in a police precinct, or a lesbian kiss in a pool between two hot, young actresses, I get so uncomfortable that I once set the house alarm just to eliminate the awkward situation. The point is, finding a movie to watch with Mom and Dad is not easy, and needs to be thought through. My mom has her guidelines. No violence. Nothing too depressing. No horror. No blood. And let's try to find a title with only a few four-letter words, okay?
Okay. So, this basically eliminates one of my favorite movies. So there I am, watching All The Pretty Horses. With Mom and Dad. Yep, on a Saturday night. Never mind my obvious social problem of having nothing to do on a Saturday night but watch a movie with mom and dad, but I still appeal that despite the personal humiliation, I do not feel that I have to suffer through some romantic melodrama as a result. The whole reason I watch movies is to escape my own issues (says four therapists). Bridges Of Madison County just is not helping my escape plan. Dad likes what I like. Thrillers. Car chases. Spy adventures. Smaller, independent, dark films; he's pretty much open to anything and loves to watch a good movie. However, Dads have Moms to answer to, so in the middle of Casino Royale I may get a "is not this a little violent" out of my father, who then goes back to the edge of his seat to keep watching. Honesty, pop. Honesty. Is that too too to ask? And a date on Saturday night would not be the worse thing either. I mean, what am I doing here. It should be stated that I too have my own set of unbendable guidelines.
Under no circumstances will the film being watched be stopped in the middle, with the intention of watching the rest on another day. In addition, if either mom or dad falls asleep by the end of the opening credits, said film will be turned off, popped out of the DVD player, and taken for me to watch on my own. Phone will not be answered. Knock at the door? Turn out the lights and prepare we are not home. And finally, let's try and keep bathroom breaks to a minimal. I admit, I am strict when it comes to movie watching, and if the rules are not obeyed, things descend to ugly, quick. This is called transference (according to four therapists). The real reason for my irritability is that this, ladies and gentleman, is my Saturday night.
Finally, to all the parents out there reading this and immediately siding with my mother and father, I urge you to keep an open mind when it comes to watching TV, listening to music (which is I know, "so loud"), and watching movies with your kids these days. With every post-Baby Boom Generation came massive changes in popular culture, doing away with the 1950s political correctness my parents grew up with, and replaced by new classic films, you know, like Jackass 2. Let the children pick. Then, blood, sex, bad language, see if you sit back, relax, and here's the big one, suspend judgment and analysis as to what your son or daughter likes about the film and what that says about them as people, and maybe, just maybe, you'll be entertained by a guy who accidently gets his one-night stand pregnant, or a dirty cop on a killing spree. If not, do not worry. You TIVO'd The View. Open minded.