The Narcissistic Baby Boomer Academic Parents

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  1. I have had a black belt in Tae Kwon Do since age 14, took lessons off & on since age 6. Brought home first place trophies for both sparring & forms in several local competitions at every rank. I was ordered “don’t block me” every time they hit me. In doing this, they taught me to save self defense for the ring, but I should let people beat me to a pulp in real life. *Great people, great all around parenting technique guaranteeing lifelong emotional and mental stability for all their offspring.-

    -The last sentence was 100% sarcasm.

  2. So many narc teachers. SO many. When I was at drama school, the head of the school took me aside one day and literally told me I was stupid for laughing at my friend who was great at physical comedy. I was 19 and he goes: "an intelligent person doesn't need to laugh when they hear a joke, instead they say to themselves 'ah, that's funny'.". Never forgot that, never will.

  3. Jarrod, I can’t remember if you are free of these people. Are you NC? I hope so. I hope you shake their sick dust off your shoulders as you walk away w/ your head held high. I hope you do the hard work either by journaling or with a therapist or a group to untangle all the mixed (mixed up!) messages they have given (indoctrinated) you with. I hope you will work hard to build your life as an honest person who calls a spade a spade; who learns how to spot the worldwide NARCS & prevent them from being a part of your life; who works hard to achieve your personal goals; who evicts their twisted messages about who you are out of your mind. Bottom line, I hope the best for you. It’s a long journey, but you can do it. Look at what you’ve already survived!💪
    BTW, I was raised by NARC only children parents. We only had a daughter. We worked so hard to break the pattern of abuse & the typical problems of raising an Only Child. We weren’t perfect, by any means, but our daughter is 27yo, healthy, happy, kind, thoughtful & well-adjusted. She has her life & we are her biggest cheerleaders. You can do this, too, when you are ready.👍

  4. If they ain't actually raping you they are in emotional incest with you. It's creepy as feck my covert narc exes family were all in emotional incest relationships with each other, if I had never dated my covert narc I would never have been able to comprehend emotional incest. It's one of those things you have to watch for months to get your head around what the fuck is going on.

  5. The author is correct about the adult mind not fully developing until their mid 20's. It wasn't until I was about 27 or 28 before I realized what type of people I was actually dealing with. Up until that point, I used to also think I had a "cordial" relationship with my parents. However, It turned out they were shitting on me everytime I wasn't around and looking for reasons to exclude me from various family functions. The hilarious part about all of that is my narcissistic father had to finally inform me I was being "shunned" by the family, and that I needed to apologize for whatever it was that caused this division. I just started laughing at him. By this time I no longer gave a damn about what these people thought. They're useless pieces of shit looking to drain you of everything you have. Happiness, health, free time, and of course money.

  6. Huh… it opens my eyes to the fact why some of my school teachers would dislike me the moment we’ve met: all I did was say my name and from then on I was punished harder than other kids who were obviously disruptive whilst my ‘crime’ was me asking for a tissue or a lesson related question to one of my desk mates. My dad would sometimes turn up at the parents evening and when he would get back home he would beat me for not getting straight A’s, telling me I will never be as good as my mother. The next day those same nasty teachers would ask me if I’ve got a good whopping last night for you know, getting a B instead of an A grade… I can see now how did it happen: kids from rich families underperformed every time and yet they got the praise and good grades each time… if they happened to get a lower grade, their parents would turn up and terrorise school teachers into giving their kids a top grade. The same teachers would also say things like ‘you will never get an A grade, but if you work hard enough you will perhaps deserve a B grade’. How messed up was that?

  7. "It's OK. He is 50 years old." Your therapist sucks green donkey ani and your father used you as his verbal punching bag whenever he was stressed.
    Avoid your parents like they are the Ebola virus. They only want to destroy you so you will become their slave to serve them throughout their old age.

  8. My mother is a baby boomer and former public school teacher. Yet she tried to tell me how to handle my own corporate career, telling me how to act, what to say to bosses, mock me for not making enough money, etc. Everything about what I was doing in my own career was “wrong” in some way. My husband said it best “why is she telling you how to run your own career when she’s a fucking TEACHER?”

  9. The “baby boomers don’t marry for love” thing is so true. My mother told me that she married my father because he was a “hot prospect” and had potential to make a lot of money and that he had “the basics”. This means educated, upper middle class family, good looks and materialistic values. He also had severe substance abuse issues which she completely turned a blind eye to. They are now divorced and my father has almost no money to his name having not worked for 20 years.

  10. I have a few teacher friends on Facebook, and I've noticed that no other profession is as self-congratulating as teachers. There are a lot of jobs that are necessary to keep society running, being a teacher is just another one of those jobs. I'll believe they care about the children when they're willing to give up a portion of their public sector pension in order to keep the schools funded.

  11. Oh Ms. Washburn👹when the narc parents think they can get parenting handled by passing the responsibility on to a bully teacher and all enjoy Roasting the Scapegoat child victim of their guilt & shame. My parents started that fun game from the start. Never occurred to them what jacka$$es they made of themselves.

  12. Gerrard My aunt was always a headmistress she has a son with her first husband he moved out to college and has not looked back,. He makes it difficult for her to see his daughter. My aunt married again to a Deputy head and they has a daughter, she is so controlling over her, they funded her through uni and she now has a PHD and has just begun work, but my aunt bought her a flat, when my cousin came out as gay she sold her flat and bought a tiny flat only big enough for one person. I see so much similarities with your parents and my cousins, it is spooky. They are academics with no life experience. He would never have married he is effeminate but I think he married her as a disguise. he got accused of molesting a boy. My aunt knows every cell of her daughters body, it is sick.

  13. the note: Yep… it's not about the note at all. The narc's problem is you didnt do as he said to the letter – didnt jump high enough. The ol' narc "EF Hutton syndrome" –> when the narc speaks, you damn well better listen! All about total control and dominance (and your unthinking blind obedience). Sick fcks.

  14. Your momster made you fat by abusing you psychologically so you probably comfort-ate your feelings.
    Then she would berate you & ride your ass & let your dad (encourage him & teachers too) to put you down & boss you around & dominate & make you feel INFERIOR & low self esteem BECAUSE… boys who let themselves go & feel low self esteem & zero confidence won't even TRY to leave/ replace mommy as #1.
    In fact, I remember this narc woman I know gushing it's so great I had a baby boy cuz "boys NEVER leave their mothers" as if that's a good & desired 'fact'.
    These narc mothers plan this from the moment they find out they're having a boy.
    So ya…yer mom keeps you thinking you're 'undesireable' & that no one will WANT you so you're feeling such low self esteem you won't even think you deserve better than life at home with that monster.

    THEN, to provide a contrast & emphasize her PLOT to keep you ensnared in her narc talons, she throws you the occassional bone in form of a strategically-placed, insincere COMPLIMENT:
    "I'm soooo proud of you! Oh how I DO love you so, Son."
    So you associate complying with her abuse & secret scheme to RENDER YOU fat, unsure of yoyr self or your power… & to celebrate her goal of ensuring you feel incapable & 'unworthy'…with "LOVE" & this false idea that you can't survive without her.
    To ensure you NEVER EVER LEAVE HER

  15. This story reminded me that I learned to keep my accomplishments to myself. I couldn't be real with my parents! They were fake people! I soon became embarrassed of them. It hurts to say that, but it's true: they embarrassed me. To this day, there's a gaping hole inside me where depth of feeling and warmth for my parents should be. It'll never be filled. They dug that hole, and dug it and dug it and dug it.

  16. I hated high school. Some of my teachers were very good. My math teacher used to have a lot of favoritism to the jocks. I had to get another math teacher. I became an excellent math student all through to college. Thank God my parents had me switch teachers.